July 17, 2015
James Holmes, the Batman shooter, has been found guilty on 165 counts in the Aurora, Colorado massacre.
Even as the families of the victims continue to mourn the deaths of their loved ones, the US government continues to refuse to address the cause of these unnecessary deaths. Holmes was radicalized by the Batman franchise of films, as well as other related Batman and comic book media.
Not only has Batman not been banned in America, the Federal Government has refused to even investigate Batman, who, according to numbers provided by the Northern Guano Law Center, is responsible for 85% of murders in America.
Some people think that enough is enough, and it’s time for a change in the way our legal system deals with Batman and related merchandise.
Jakob Steingold, Chairman of the NGLC, says that there is easily something the government can do. We can keep free speech, he says, we just need to curtail Batman by applying laws which already exist.
“We can easily maintain free speech in America while shutting down the menace that is the Batman,” Steingold told me over the phone. “We have a deep history of valuing free speech in this country, but Batman speech is not free speech.”
Steingold explains that young “lone bats” are being radicalized by Batman toys, comics and films without any central authority.
“Back in the 80s, we had gangs of Batmen roaming the streets, but they were infiltrated and shut down by the FBI. Now, we’re in the era of the lone bat – Batman fans buy these toys and comics, get radicalized on their own, then act on what they’ve learned from Batman stories.”
The decentralized nature of Batman fans makes prevention almost completely impossible, Steinberg says.
“We are either going to have to act against the production and distribution of Batman and Batman related products, or we are just going to have to accept the fact that thousands more innocents are going to die in the name of Batman. How many innocent lives is it worth to allow Ben Affleck to dress-up in a BDSM costume and look sad?”
“Why So Serious?”
Analysts and psychologists have long struggled with the drive of young men to become involved in Batman.
Dr. Shekels Goldtown of Stanford University has posited that it is feelings of ineptitude and anger at the world which drives young men to start reading Batman comics, watching the films and playing with the toys.
“You grow up, you have no future because you live in a basement and work at Seven-11. Then you see your first porno, and realize your penis is much smaller than the ones on the screen. You need an outlet for your rage, and you find Batman, start saying to yourself ‘maybe it isn’t me that has the problem, maybe this is the fault of the Joker, the Riddler or the Penguin?’ Batman allows total failures a big guy to blame for their tiny penis and failure,” Dr. Goldtown explains.
Dr. Goldtown agrees with Jakob Steinberg that unless something is done to counteract the ability of Batman to spread his ideology, millions will die.
“There’s always going to be plenty of repressed homosexuals with small penises living in basements ready to respond to the Batsignal. If the government wants to stop random shootings, they’re going to have to deal with the Bat. We need laws against Batman speech. Batman speech is not free speech.”