January 15, 2020
As any man will tell you, women are not down to do anything fun, ever. Anyone who has ever been unfortunate enough to have a relationship with a modern female knows that 90% of your time is going to be spent being bored out of your friggin’ mind while watching Netflix together.
You’d think that these would be ideal space exploration conditions, but you’d be wrong.
Aspiring cosmic adventurer and based Jap Yusaku Maezawa has had to put a desperate plea out for a front-hole – any front-hole – to join him on his expedition.
Japanese billionaire Yusaku Maezawa is looking for a female “life partner” to accompany him on Space X’s maiden tourist voyage to the Moon.
The fashion mogul, 44, is set to be the first civilian passenger to fly around the moon on the Starship rocket.
Planned for 2023, the mission will be the first lunar journey by humans since 1972.
In an online appeal, Mr Maezawa says he wants to share the experience with a “special” woman.
The entrepreneur, who recently split up from actress girlfriend Ayame Goriki, 27, has asked women to apply for a “planned match-making event” on his website.
Understand this: females will never volunteer to do anything of any value for the human species because they simply aren’t wired to do that. The very concept is alien to them. They have to be dragged by the hair kicking and screaming by men at all times.
It is simply exhausting.
Space exploration just isn’t going to be possible without one of the following coming into being:
- Sex robots
- Wombsys artificial human birth pods
- Space religion
The only reason that America ever even got settled in the first place was because of religious fervor. The Protestant thing was hot stuff at the time in Europe and they were dead-set on setting up a new Jerusalem in New England. Even there though, they almost lost control of their wenches and had to start burning them to reel the bitching in.
Point being, this Japanese billionaire is going to have a hard time even if he does get the front-hole to join him in space. For one thing, you can’t even get a boner in zero gravity.
It begs the question what you would even do with the woman if you’re not trying to bone her. Furthermore, if she finds out that sex is off the menu, she is going to be absolutely livid that you can’t “man up” for her and will just wreck the whole ship in a hormonal rage. Also, when it comes that time of the month, she’s going to be free-bleeding all over the shuttle and that’s not going to be fun for anyone, now is it?
I never thought I’d have to give a Jap this advice, but leave the 3D woman at home, my man.