Austria and Greece Shutting the Whole Bitch Down

We need to do an ad campaign showing that Sweden exists.


Austria will impose a partial shutdown Tuesday that closes restaurants, bars and recreation facilities.

Chancellor Sebastian Kurz says Austrians will stay home between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m., although they can go out for work and exercise. He requested citizens work from home when possible.

Kurz says the restrictions will last through November. He characterized it as a “second lockdown” but more lenient because schools, non-essential shops and hairdressers can stay open.

Austria has reported 301 cases per 100,000 residents in the past seven days. That compares with 110 in neighbouring Germany, which is imposing a somewhat lighter four-week partial shutdown starting Monday.

Austria has confirmed a total of 106,000 coronavirus cases and 1,097 deaths.

Greece will also shut down restaurants, bars, cafes, cinemas and gyms across a large part of the country, including the capital Athens, after a surge in coronavirus cases.

Outlining the measures in a televised address, Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis said the changes will take effect Tuesday morning and last for the whole of November.

The areas affected are most of northern Greece and the Athens region.

Though closed for sitting customers, restaurants in these areas will be able to offer food for takeaway and deliveries.

We made Dr. Fauci the ultimate arbiter of reality and the supreme leader of all of the universes because he is the smartest man who ever lived – and not even he knows that there’s a country called “Sweden” in Northern Europe.

At a recent event where Dr. Fauci was instructing the whole earth in how it must behave, a man shouted “Sweden!” and Fauci replied “thank you.”

The man then said “what?”

Fauci replied, “you called me ‘sweetie’ so I said thank you.”

The man then said: “No, I said Sweden!”

“Oh,” said Fauci, “is that a sweetener? I’ve never heard of it.”

The man replied that it is a country in Northern Europe, to which Fauci said: “No it isn’t and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t loy. Next question, please.”

(Note: “Loy” is an Italian word that means “to communicate a falsehood.”)

If the literal smartest man in the universe doesn’t know Sweden exists, then there is no hope for some asshole in Austria.

We need a global ad campaign declaring “SWEDEN IS A COUNTRY THAT EXISTS.”