January 5, 2020
Wielders of the infernal flame are not to be trifled with.
We’ve recently discussed how the Australian bushfires were obviously caused by some kind of supernatural spirit (probably a demon) which is raining down punishment on the dingoes for their countless sins.
At the time, this fire demon had recently acquired the ability to summon “fire tornadoes” and control thunder clouds in order to spread devastation more effectively.
Now, it seems the demon has leveled-up and gained even more fearsome abilities, one of which is to spread its powerful spiritual influence to mortals in order to acquire their obedience and assistance in its destructive mission.
A 79-year-old South Australian man has been charged with intentionally lighting four grass and scrub fires in the state’s southeast in recent days.
Police will allege the man lit fires on December 30 and January 2, and then two on Saturday, all in the Kingston area.
He has been refused police bail and will appear in Mount Gambier Magistrates Court on Monday.
No property damage was caused by the fires, however, a house did come under threat during one on Saturday.
Police said the charges did not relate to the large Keilira fire which was sparked in the southeast on January 30 with that blaze not considered suspicious.
The news source doesn’t specify if the man in question lit the fires with petrol and matches, or if he directly used the demonic powers of fire that his new dark overlord granted him.
Example of a flame demon thrall exhibiting his occult powers.
But either way, it’s clear that this marks a new stage in the Australian fire demon’s development. It’s evident that the more things are burned and killed, the more the demon gains “experience points” (“XP”), which it can then spend on various abilities.
It’s still unknown whether those points are used in a Diablo II type skill tree.
The obvious alternative would be a Path of Exile type scenario, where the fire demon needs to create paths in order to get the best abilities.
This grind might slow it down – to an extent.
But what we can confirm is that the latest skill choices include “Flame tornado,” “Lightning storm” and “Convert fire thrall.” We can only speculate what the highest available skills are, but it’s safe to say that the dreaded “Meteor storm” isn’t off the table. If the Aussies actually let this “bushfire” hit the level cap, the consequences could be felt the world over.
It’s already dire enough in Australia.
Even the military is being deployed.
The fires are so massive that even glaciers all the way in New Zealand are getting charred black.
This the view from the top of the Tasman Glacier NZ today – whole South island experiencing bushfire clouds. We can actually smell the burning here in Christchurch. Thinking of you guys. 😢#nswbushfire #AustralianFires #AustraliaBurning pic.twitter.com/iCzOGkou4o
— Miss Roho (@MissRoho) January 1, 2020
Icy white glaciers on New Zealand’s South Island have turned a concerning shade of caramel as a result of the bushfires burning in New South Wales and Victoria.
Shocking photographs and videos shared on social media over the past 48 hours show the impact of the drifting smoke on some of the country’s magnificent and usually pristine attractions.
“We can actually smell the burning here in Christchurch,” a user by the name of Miss Roho said on Twitter overnight.
She shared a video of the thick smoke up on the Tasman Glacier in Mount Cook National Park, 200 kilometres west of the South Island city.
While New Zealand isn’t burning yet, we can still count that as the fire going international.
That’s kind of scary.
One thing that must absolutely be kept in mind when confronted with this “natural” disaster, however, is that as scary as it is, this level of damage is nothing compared with the effects of global warming (or climate change – whatever they’re calling it now).
Think about that next time you’re filling up your gas tank – or leaving your VCR turned on overnight.
VCRs consume power, and power comes from burning dinosaur fossil oil – which is obviously bad for the environment.
So while a fire demon incinerating Australia and possessing people seems pretty bad, you’re actually doing way more damage to the earth every time you fail to turn off your VCR every day.
Greta told me this, so it’s basically a fact.