February 5, 2020
Alex Kurtzman has struck again. Star Trek: Picard has begun, and it is just as horrendous as I thought it would be.
You might think this is better than Star Trek: Discovery, because it doesn’t have a black woman who is the most important person in the universe. But it really is not any better. It stems from the same stupid plan to turn Star Trek into an imbecilic fantasy franchise.
This isn’t Star Trek, it is just dumb action-adventure sci-fa.
What’s more, it isn’t good action-adventure sci-fa. It is mindless, dopey crap that panders to the lowest common denominator. The only problem for CBS is that the lowest common denominator isn’t interested in Star Trek. They’re not even interested in Star Wars anymore. They want Marvel movies and Netflix series that don’t have the baggage of a 60-year-old franchise that used to appeal to men of taste.
The first episode of Picard features a digression into series lore that would leave any non-fan too confused to continue watching, and leave any fan too enraged to continue watching out of anything other than rage and resentment (known as “the path to the dark side,” as I expect Picard to break the fourth wall and remind viewers of halfway in episode three).
The game plan for this new series of Star Trek shows is to cannibalize the lore of the previous series for bits and pieces that Kurtzman thinks he can build into something that will appeal to a larger audience, capable of justifying bloated budgets. After the backlash that Discovery created within fan communities, and its complete lack of appeal to any such larger audience (the viewing numbers are secret, but we have reason to believe they’re not good), Kurtzman thought that bringing back the character of Jean-Luc Picard would somehow endear fans of the franchise and that they would be slower to express their hatred.
But the reality is that Picard is only beloved as a part of a show that Kurtzman is not interested in making. Putting Picard into the dark, boring, CGI-driven soap opera spectacle of nu-Trek is like putting Homer Simpson into Game of Thrones.
It does not help that the actor that plays Picard, Patrick Stewart, is as old as Joe Biden and comes across as just as senile. I have nothing against old people (actually, I do, but what I am saying would be true either way). This comes across as elderly abuse, having a man this old star in a television show. Surely, this old man has things he’d rather be doing. We are left wondering if Stewart may in fact be a pedophile, and Kurtzman threatened to drop his pizza tapes if he didn’t humiliate himself in this half-baked scheme.
So what is the show?
That is really irrelevant, but I’ll tell you anyway.
It starts with a white women making out with a black man.
(She later turns out to be a half-Filipina hapa, but she looks like a white woman.)
The black man quickly ends up dead.
The woman is some kind of magical figure, who Picard must try to save. By the end of the episode, he’s failed to save her and she has died, so he must instead save her twin sister. His quest to save this magical woman is the plot of the show.
To make this save, he enlists a black woman who is – you guessed it – magical for some reason.
The plot as it stands is the same thing we’ve seen a million times: a fantastic adventure of a rag-tag band of rough but endearing heroes on a quest to save a “chosen one” figure upon whom rests the fate of the galaxy.
The gutting of the lore of Star Trek is sickening, and simply unnecessary. If these Jews want to make a show about an 80-year-old man going on an amazing CGI journey through the cosmos, only to find that the real journey was the friends he made along the way, they should just do that. There is no reason to tie this crap to Star Trek. It is cruel and obscene. Star Trek fans all hate this Nu-Trek, and the lore does nothing to bring in new fans.
This show is not interesting. It is simply “Discovery: Part II.”
Star Trek is a show that uses an episodic format to introduce interesting scenarios which must be solved by the characters using logic, science, social engineering, diplomacy and philosophy. This is a uniquely engaging form of entertainment, as the viewer is himself put into the scenario and asked to try to figure out a solution to the problem.
Nu-Trek is a soap opera that relies on shoddy “character development,” which takes the form of sappy, saccharine dialogue and gross, over-the-top displays of emotion by the largely female cast. The plot is largely an afterthought, simply allowing the staging of emotional scenes or action spectacle. The disregard that the writers show for their own plot is shocking, and leads one to wonder how they can expect any viewer to respect what they themselves have no respect for.
There is no sell-by date on the original episodic Trek format. There is no reason that it wouldn’t be appealing to new and old audiences now. However, it would not capture the same audiences as a Game of Thrones or Stranger Things. It is a niche market. Moving from an episodic format to a serialized format is being sold as “a way to tell new types of stories,” but what it actually is is a way to dumb down the show and remove everything that made it interesting and replace it with the same cheap “drama” and CGI explosion-mongering of every other show currently clogging up the tubes with sordidness.
At one point in the show, the elderly Picard has a meta moment and states: “I never really cared for science fiction. I guess I just didn’t get it.” This is clearly the show’s writers talking.
Nu-Trek is not science fiction. It is a fantasy soap opera, where characters have magic powers, set in a fantasy universe, where deus ex machina is taken to an absurd extreme for the sake of the convenience of the writers, who are lazy, entitled Jews.
I will probably keep watching the show for a few more episodes, out of nothing other than hatred. But I will take no pleasure in it.