December 1, 2017
Wh… what have I been missing out on?
Everyone loves based president Duterte and stands 100% in solidarity with his crusade to purge the Philippines of crime and degeneracy. We all admire his heroic courage and stoic determination. As such, it was only a matter of time before scores of video games featuring the flip strongman started being developed and released, to public acclaim.
But the fun couldn’t last.
Hateful junkies have banded together and lobbied Apple to take these joyful games off of their online store, under the misguided pretense that junkies deserve to live!
Video games that put the player in the shoes of Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte as he kills criminals have been removed from Apple’s app store.
Popular games with titles such as “Duterte knows Kung Fu: Pinoy Crime Fighter” have disappeared from the company’s digital shop.
A drug users’ advocacy group said it had been campaigning for their removal.
Thousands of people have been killed by police during the president’s crackdown on drug-related crime.
Duterte’s glock has infinite bullets, and he’s coming for your police badges. Just like in real life.
The Asian Network of People Who Use Drugs (Anpud) had previously written an open letter to Apple’s CEO Tim Cook to remove the games, which it said were “promoting murder, extrajudicial killings, violence, and the war on drugs in the Philippines”.
I’ve got just one question.
How stupid do you have to be to be taking advice from people who admit to being high on drugs? I for one wouldn’t change the way I run my multi-billion-dollar business based on the ideas of heroin junkies. But then again, I’m not a faggot like Tim Cook, so maybe there’s something I’m missing there.
“We did not receive a direct response from Mr Cook or Apple,” the group said in a statement. “However, most of the apps no longer appear”.
The games that Anpud said had now disappeared include:
- Duterte knows Kung Fu: Pinoy Crime Fighter
- Duterte Running Man Challenge Game
- Fighting Crime 2
- Tsip Bato: Ang Bumangga Giba!
All those games featured either President Duterte, or Philippines police chief Ronald “Bato” dela Rosa shooting down criminals, it said.
Some similar games are still available on the rival Google Play store, which provides apps for users of the Android mobile operating system. A few claim to feature shooting zombies rather than humans.
So many games… So little time… I’ll have to make playing Duterte games my full time job from now on.
Will Google cuck as well? I sure hope not. Without Duterte games, what the hell am I supposed to with my spare time?