February 1, 2020
Trump campaigned on a promise to make anime real. So we need to scrap the F-35 and replace it with flying anime girls.
Is it very important that America’s aircraft work flawlessly and have top notch specs?
After all, America has pretty much only been waging war against small, impoverished third world countries at the behest of the Jews in the past decades, and those countries couldn’t do anything against us even if we were flying biplanes.
At least planes had panache – and killer paint jobs – back then.
However, if these neocon kikes are serious about fighting against Russia, China and Iran, these shoddy F-35 aircraft are going to be a nightmare.
The F-35, the next-generation fighter plane that the U.S. government is planning on dropping $1.5 trillion on at the same time it’s planning on slashing health care and kicking the disabled off Social Security, still sucks shit and can’t even shoot straight, according to a report in Bloomberg.
Bloomberg says that a recent report by the Pentagon’s test office found numerous cringe-inducing problems with the F-35, including 873 major “software deficiencies” that are being fixed only slightly faster than new bugs appear, undisclosed cybersecurity “vulnerabilities” that have yet to be resolved, and “unacceptable” accuracy in the 25mm rotary cannon on the Air Force version, which just so happens to also be mounted in housing that cracks. Air Force and Navy versions of the aircraft also continue to have cracks in structural components, which could be reasonably interpreted as a bad thing to have in a fighter jet.
In other words, it can’t shoot for shit, it’s possible someone can hack it, and it’s falling apart.
First of all: is it me or has the editorial direction at Gizmodo changed somewhat? I find their new tone very refreshing.
But more importantly, the F-35 has been considered a “piece of shit” for some time now, considering that it’s slow, lacks maneuverability and is solely focused on electronic warfare. In light of its appalling software problems and security vulnerabilities, that doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, now, does it?
Those plane girls are starting to sound better and better…
And the US Air Force is intending for the F-35 to be a multi-role aircraft – in other words, they’ll replace many different models currently being used with them, with minor adjustments based on the role being served. So the entire Air Force is going to be filled with these expensive, crappy planes.
Note that this list doesn’t include further issues being identified in current combat tests involving 64 exercises replicating performance against “the most challenging Russian, Chinese, North Korean and Iranian air defenses,” according to Bloomberg. The news agency added that hundreds of the craft have been delivered and will “require extensive retrofitting.”
The testing office also reported that “no significant portion” of the existing F-35 fleet “was able to achieve and sustain” a goal of 80 percent capability to pull off at least one type of combat mission. (Any type of combat mission.) Bloomberg wrote that the Pentagon found that while individual units managed to hit the “80% target for short periods during deployed operations,” every model of the F-35 lagged “a large margin” behind the goal of “Full Mission Capability,” which is military jargon for actually being able to use.
When World War 3 hits, our aircraft are going to spend most of their CPU cycles mining crypto currencies for Chinese and Russian hackers, rather than deploying whatever “electronic warfare” measures they were designed to deploy.
Pilots will have to close 100 pop-up windows every time they switch radar modes or check up on their remaining ammunition.
Most of the flight instrument displays will instead be showing porno ads.
And it’ll all be worth it – after all, the F-35 is the most “high-tech” aircraft in the world.