November 9, 2017
If Steve Jobs were still alive – or if they hadn’t replaced him with an affirmative action faggot – Apple would have produced a way better version of Alexa by now and we wouldn’t be hearing this tragic news.
A GERMAN man has been left with a huge bill after his Amazon Echo tried to organise a house party while he was away.
Hamburg cops were forced to break into Oliver Haberstroh’s flat after neighbours complained about deafening music blasting from inside – but found the apartment empty after searching each room for someone to tell off.
Mr Haberstroh claims he walked out of his flat to meet friend on Friday night after checking that the lights and music were switched off.
He wrote on Facebook: “While I was relaxed and enjoying a beer, Alexa managed on her own, without command and without me using my mobile phone, to switch on at full volume and have her own party in my apartment”
“She decided to have it at a very inconvenient time, between 1.50am and 3.00am. My neighbours called the police.”
After knocking on the door, the officers called an expert to break the lock open – and refused to hand over keys for the replacement until they’d been paid for the locksmith.
It comes just weeks after a mischievous parrot used Alexa to order itself a set of ten gift boxes while the owner was away.
The parrot ordering fiasco was an even greater tragedy.
Why should parrots be allowed to order things?
They’re damned birds!