Demi Moore was once a famous actress, married to the
great okay Bruce Willis.
She was in several movies that people who are over 35 might remember. Unfortunately, I cannot remember any of them right now.
As a young woman, she was the type of woman a young man would see and think “gee willikers, I sure would like to insert my penis into her vagina and thrust my hips back and forth,” whereas an older man would think “now she’s a pretty little thing, ain’t she?”
She certainly had some facial surgery, but here she is pictured in 2020 at Paris Fashion Week, at the age of 56:
I don’t agree with the plastic surgery, but she did okay.
However, two weeks ago, she celebrated on social media that she was getting the coronavirus vaccine. No one heard from her for several days.
When she finally appeared, she looked like this:
Many on the internet are now demanding an explanation as to what is in the vaccine, and if it caused this transformation.
Several scientific experts have suggested that the vaccine “obviously contains the DNA of the aliens that crashed at Roswell.” Most people on social media agreed with the experts, saying that no one would do that to their face voluntarily, and the only explanation is alien DNA.
This has brought much attention to the vaccine, with many claiming they would rather die of the deadly coronavirus than be transformed into an alien creature.
“Nigga, if yo thank ima gunna be fuggen with that alien shit, den yo gots me fugged up, dawg,” said the Rev. Jamal Jenkem of the Holy Mastery Church. “Nigga, I ain’t fuggs wif nunna dat alien shit dawg, you know bro, I might not be the purtiest thang, but I ain’t trayin to turn inta no outer space alien type muthafugga, gnomesain?”
Another citizen, Janiqua Jackson, expressed a similar sentiment: “Dat bitch dun turn she face like uh alien. Yo got me fugged up.”
Many experts have suggested that the Illuminati is working with the aliens secretly to genetically engineer humans to make them compatible for alien breeding. “They want to use our bodies as hatcheries for their eggs, and in order to do that, we have to have some of their DNA,” said a distinguished professor at Science University.
FBI JOKE WARNING
THIS ARTICLE IS EXPLICITLY NOT DESIGNED TO MANIPULATE BLACK PEOPLE INTO NOT GETTING THE CORONAVIRUS VACCINE BECAUSE THEY THINK IT WILL TURN THEM INTO AN ALIEN. THIS ARTICLE IS DESIGNED FOR HUMOROUS PURPOSES ONLY, AND IS NOT IN ANY WAY SPECIFICALLY INTENDED FOR BLACK PEOPLE AS AN AUDIENCE. THIS WRITER TRYING TO LAUGH THROUGH THE TEARS AS THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT VICIOUSLY MUTILATES THE CORPSE OF HIS COUNTRY.
I guess I’m going to have to start putting that warning on every joke now, as it is against the laws of the federal government to make jokes that confuse black people.
Demi Moore didn’t take the coronavirus vaccine. Also, I’m not really a big anti-vaxxer, and I don’t know if the meme at the top of this article is correct. (I do know that vaccines usually do have fetal tissue in them, but with the mercury thing, I understand that this is a preservative that isn’t used in vaccines anymore. I certainly wouldn’t ever take a vaccine myself, for any reason I don’t think, but I’ve just never really been into the anti-vaxx movement. Also, I do not believe that vaccines cause autism, and I think that this false theory, which has been spread by a lot of people including Alex Jones and Donald Trump, has not been helpful to society. My various views on the coronavirus vaccine are not based on general anti-vaxx beliefs, but specifically the fact that this vaccine is a form of experimental gene therapy, and that it’s for a harmless disease that virtually everyone I know has had, and which is the flu. I’m also concerned with the fact that all of these people in the government are trying to force us to take it.)
Anyway, one thing in this article is not a joke: that 2020 picture is really from 2020, and that alien face picture is really from this week.
Let me just bring those two pictures back, and put them side-by-side – this is Demi Moore 2020 v Demi Moore 2021:
I got both those pictures from an article in the New York Post that hilariously says “Demi Moore’s transformation over the years,” and somehow doesn’t mention that she now looks like a space alien. It’s actually hard to recognize her as the same person, and it is virtually unbelievable.
The thing about this facelift stuff is that it can go terribly, horribly wrong.
I do think it would be hilarious if someone spread this picture of Demi Moore and said the vaccine caused it, and all those “fact checker” sites had to debunk it. If my website wasn’t banned from being shared everywhere, I would write a straight satire article in NYT prose saying this happened and that people think it is alien DNA.
My most popular article ever (it got like 25 million hits in a week, and then would go through the rounds again) was a satire piece about Robert Mueller finding that Russians used a mind control beam from space to control people’s minds and get them to vote for Trump.
A “fact checker” did email me about that, and I said “it’s obviously satire, what do you mean?” and he told me that people were spreading it as though it was real news. This was back in the good old days, before Charlottesville (before the whole world knew who I was and that I was pure and unadulterated evil for making a joke about a beautiful and brave 320 lbs woman who died of a heart attack), and I asked him to please not do something that would down-rank me on Facebook, and he kind of suggested that he wouldn’t do that and that jokes were allowed, but that some people were reposting parts of the article as fact.
Snopes, which is not the one that emailed me (I can’t remember who it was but it wasn’t Snopes) printed that it was fake and satirical, which I found confusing, and then realized that they’re writing for an audience that might not know what the word “satirical” means.
That’s the first time I really realized that there is a real possibility of people spreading totally false news stories and people believing them.
Obviously, that is some kind of “threat to democracy,” but you just have to ask: why should these people be voting?
I mean, they tell you that the proletariat is this exhausted being, a paragon of virtue, but they get confused by jokes and don’t know what the word “satire” means? The FBI is whining that an alleged 4,900 people believed a meme Ricky Vaughn tweeted to be factual, and tried to vote by text. So they are saying “black people are literally too stupid to understand jokes, and they think jokes are real life, but it’s very important that they determine how our government is run.” Something is amiss.
There are stupid white people too. My view is: democracy is garbage, top to bottom. This system is not in the Constitution, it was never intended to be “our values” and “who we are,” and if we look at the statistics, we know that certain groups cannot even take care of themselves in real life, and shouldn’t have any say in the way the country is run.
Again: according to these people in the media, 80% of white men voted for Donald Trump.
Most people – I guess a lot of the same people who don’t know what the word “satire” means – believe that this mass voting stuff is in the Constitution, and it is not. This is a meme we should be spreading. It doesn’t even have to be racist or sexist or whatever: just say that if you don’t own property, you haven’t proved that you have the personal life-management skills to make a fair assessment of the way the government is managed, therefore, you shouldn’t be allowed to vote.