Ah, Nah, Dawg. DMX be Dead.

Prince Philip died today, but his death is being overshadowed by the death of someone much more important: DMX.

X had been in a coma for days after an accident resulting from smoking that crack rock.

DMX was the last living black man that any normal person had any respect for, so now there is literally no reason not to have a race war.

I used to tell people: “Would it be great if we had a race war?”

And people would be like: “Yeah, for sure. But wait… what about DMX? I wouldn’t want to be on the other side of a war with X – he’s too awesome. Furthermore, if X became the commander of the black side of the race war, the blacks would beat us easily – he’s just too darn smart.”

Well, there are no more excuses, folks.

What’s more, after we win the race war, we can rewrite history and claim that DMX was actually white (like blacks currently claim Beethoven was black).

I’m just joking, of course.

We don’t need a race war.

Instead, we need to ally with blacks who share conservative ideology.

Like, for example, uh… Thomas Sowell. Or for another example, DMX, who is a libertarian, and shared conservative views on transgenders in women’s sports.

As he wrote in his treatise “Where [is] the [neighbor]hood at?”:

Last I heard, y’all niggas was havin’ sex with the same sex
I show no love to homo thugs
Empty out, reload and throw mo’ slugs
How you gonna explain fuckin’ a man?
Even if we squash the beef, I ain’t touchin’ your hand
I don’t fuck with chumps
For those who been to jail, that’s the cat with the Kool-Aid on his lips and pumps
I don’t fuck with niggas that think they broads

Of course, I’m sure DMX was only using poetic language when he said he wanted to kill homosexuals, because if he’d be serious, the media would be condemning him after death for being such a hater (like they did Rush Limbaugh) instead of praising him.

However, he was certainly serious about keeping biological men out of women’s sports, which is literally the single most important value of conservative thought, aside from low taxes and small governments.

Unfortunately, DMX is dead, so we can’t get him to join our multiracial movement against high taxes and trannies in sports.

We will have to find some other black guy. There are nearly two billion blacks on earth, so there must be one or two who will align with our ideology and prove that color doesn’t matter and everything is only about ideology.

Rest in Peace, X.

I pray that in the next life, you finally find where the hood be at.