Against All Hope, Elon Musk’s Super Rocket Doesn’t Explode

Adrian Sol
Daily Stormer
Febuary 7, 2017

Unfortunately, now we’ll have a shameful Tesla car shitting up the solar system for millions of years. Cool view tho.

We announced earlier that Space X was doing a test launch of their new gigantic rocket ship.

Everyone in the world, including Elon Musk himself, expected it to fail spectacularly.

Yet somehow, against everyone’s better judgement, the thing performed perfectly well and sent Musk’s damn car out into space.

Okay, I must admit David Bowie was a nice touch.

The New York Times:

From the same pad where NASA launched rockets that carried astronauts to the moon, a big, new American rocket arced into space on Tuesday. But this time, NASA was not involved. The rocket, the Falcon Heavy, was built by SpaceX, the company founded and run by the billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk.

“It seems surreal to me,” Mr. Musk said during a news conference after the launch.

The launch of this turbocharged version of the workhorse Falcon 9 rocket, which has been carrying cargo to space for years, marks an important milestone in spaceflight, the first time a rocket this powerful has been sent into space by a private company rather than a government space agency.

The rocket carried a playful payload: Mr. Musk’s red Roadster, an electric sports car built by his other company, Tesla. Strapped inside the car is a mannequin wearing one of SpaceX’s spacesuits. They are expected to orbit the sun for hundreds of millions of years.

“It’s kind of silly and fun, but silly and fun things are important,” Mr. Musk said.

I just hope aliens don’t come across the electric car while travelling to Earth. They’d be like “this is a planet of god-damn hippies, let’s bail.”

If we want to intimidate potential aliens, we need to start sending Ford GT’s and Dodge Chargers out there, not freaking electric cars.

“We better not mess with a civilization that can produce such advanced muscle cars.”

Either way, if SpaceX can somehow get us to Mars, I’ll be willing to overlook the numerous failures of Elon Musk and get on board with the program.

It’s like Star Wars – George Lucas was a terrible film-maker, but his team somehow managed to turn his insane ideas into a classic film.

Maybe we’re allowed to hope that Musk is somehow unable to ruin SpaceX’s work on space exploration, and something good comes out of it.

And by something good, I mean a galactic empire.

Mars is as good a place to start as any.